The holidays are supposed to be full of company, and that can make a quiet stretch feel even quieter. If your family lives far away, or if you’re the one who lives far from a parent, the season can bring a special kind of ache. The good news is that connection doesn’t depend on being in the same room.
This post is for older adults and for the families who love them.
Why the Holidays Can Feel Lonely
Traditions bring memories, and memories can highlight who’s missing. Shorter days keep many people indoors, and family may be traveling or too busy to call. Feeling lonely during the holidays is common, and it isn’t a flaw. Think of it as a signal that connection matters.
For Families: Small, Regular Touches
If you’re the one who lives far away, consistency counts more than grand gestures. A ten-minute call at the same time each week gives your loved one something to look forward to. Send a card, a short note, or a photo of what you’re cooking. Record a short video message that can be played again and again.
Ask open questions, like “What was the best part of your week?” and then listen. You don’t have to fill every silence.
For Residents: Ways to Reach Out
You don’t have to wait for someone to call. Pick up the phone and call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Write holiday cards, even short ones. If you live in a Senior Living Community, shared meals and group activities are easy ways to be around people, even on days when you don’t feel chatty. Our September piece on settling in during the first month has gentle ideas for building connections at your own pace.
Make the Distance Smaller
Create traditions that travel. Cook the same recipe on the same day and share a video call over dinner. Make a shared playlist of holiday favorites, or exchange photos each week. Some families read a chapter of the same book. These small rituals give everyone something in common.
When It Becomes More Than Loneliness
Loneliness is different from depression, though they can overlap. If sadness lasts for weeks, or you notice changes in sleep, appetite, or energy, or a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, please talk with a doctor. If you ever feel hopeless or unsafe, call or text 988 any time.
Sundays at Four
Consider a son who lives in Seattle. His mother lives in a Senior Living Community near Santa Barbara. They agree on a Sunday call at four o’clock, no matter what. Some weeks they talk for an hour, and some weeks for ten minutes. After a month, his mother says the call is the thing she plans her Sundays around. This is a hypothetical, but it shows how a simple routine can carry a lot of warmth.
You’re Not Alone
If you’d like to talk about what a connected, supported life could look like for you or a loved one, our team at Westmont of Santa Barbara is glad to help.
Explore Westmont of Santa Barbara or call (805) 845-4921.
