Thanksgiving is about being together, and a loved one living with dementia belongs at the table. A few thoughtful adjustments can make the day calmer and more joyful for everyone. November is National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, so it’s a fitting time to share some ideas.
The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America offers a helpful planning guide, T.H.A.N.K.S. for a Dementia-Friendly Thanksgiving, and we’ve drawn on its themes here.
Choose the Right Time of Day
Many people with dementia experience sundowning, a stretch of agitation or confusion in the late afternoon and early evening. Holding the meal earlier in the day, such as a late-morning gathering or an early lunch, often helps. Try to build the day around your loved one’s usual routine, including meals, rest, and a favorite walk.
Keep the Gathering Small and Calm
A crowded house with loud conversation and a football game in the background can feel overwhelming. Keep the guest list short if you can, and set aside a quiet room where your loved one can step away. Put a few familiar comforts there, like a favorite blanket, a puzzle, or a photo album.
Help Them Feel Included
Focus on what your loved one can do and enjoys now. That might mean stirring a bowl, folding napkins, setting out place cards, or passing the rolls. Our September piece on hands-on creativity in later life has more simple ideas for tasks that feel good to do.
Photos and stories help, too. Looking through an old album before guests arrive can bring back names and places and set a warm tone for the day.
Prepare the Guests
Before the day, let relatives know what to expect. A short note about how your loved one communicates, what helps, and what tends to cause distress can prevent awkward moments. Encourage guests to introduce themselves by name, speak in short, kind sentences, and avoid quizzing with questions like “Do you remember me?”
If Your Loved One Lives in Memory Care
Many families choose to celebrate with their loved one at the Community, and some add a second family meal somewhere else for relatives who can’t make the visit. Residents at Westmont of Escondido receive support in Memory Care, and our team is happy to talk with you about what timing and setup would suit your loved one, who can join, and how to bring food that fits any dietary needs.
Look After the Caregiver
Family caregivers carry a lot, and the holidays add more. November is also National Family Caregivers Month, so give yourself permission to ask for help and to say yes when someone offers. The Alzheimer’s Association runs a free 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America’s helpline is available at 866-232-8484.
A Quieter Table
Picture a family planning a holiday meal for a father who has dementia. Instead of a five o’clock dinner with a dozen guests, they move the meal to noon, invite six people, and set up a quiet room with his favorite chair. His job is passing the rolls, and he takes it seriously. He’s calmer, the family exhales, and the day feels like Thanksgiving again. This is a hypothetical, but small changes like these often make a big difference.
Click Here to explore Westmont of Escondido or call (760) 737-5110.
